The Curse Christine refers to are the side effects of her radiation treatment. She already knows she will never have children but there are other side effects that happen later in life. Learning problems, often called cognitive impairments, usually show up within a few years of treatment.
I Will Not Die
By CHRISTINE MULVIHILL
I used to think the world was fair and that life works itself out
But now I’m confused and my heart’s filled with doubt,
The threads of this dream are starting to unwind
I’ve come to learn the world is unjust and fate is unkind.
I always thought you were real but my perception was blind
You’re blurring my vision and playing with my mind,
Slowly like the sands of time you’re ripping away at my soul
You’ve taken all I have, all that makes me whole,
Driving myself crazy trying to fill that empty void
But I can’t pull it together, my confidence you’ve destroyed.
You’ve taken my happiness and replaced it with hate
So much hatred and anger I just can’t take.
You’ve poisoned me enough, I’ll break down and cry
But never will I give up, no I will not die.
You will not take me down, you will not conquer me tonight
I will not lie down in my grave I’ll stand up and fight,
I maybe bleeding but take off that smile if you think you’ve won
A knife through my heart is nothing, the battle’s just begun.
There is warrior inside that you failed to see
A strength you missed while you were judging me
She will not give up as easy as you think
I’m drowning in depression but she will not sink.
Through all the pain and criticism she will stand tall
When pushed passed the limit she will not fall,
I will take whatever you give to me
And with god by my side I will be free.
I won’t bow down to you and just take the abuse
You can’t break my faith, don’t try there’s no use.
So you can turn that smile into a frown
Because this is one girl that just won’t go down.